Dear Sasha


{The Doctor}: You're a woman, Seven. {Seven of Nine}: Is that an observation or a diagnosis? {Star Trek: Voyager}

20 Positives for a Happy Girl

By Sasha Nexus

How can you thrive, outwardly expressing the woman you have always been?

1. Carry yourself with pride. Walk tall, tits out, gliding along with a smile. Smiles are contagious, Rejoice with all the people who smile back at you.

2. Respect others and respect yourself. Take yourself seriously and others will likewise take you seriously too.

3. Live for the journey! You only go exactly this way once in your life. All the other times will be different. Enjoy!

4. Cultivate your voice. Sing with the women who inspire you. Speak out strongly so that you can be heard.

5. Give of yourself to others and they will give back to you when you least expect it and when it matters the most in an overabundance that you can't contain.

6. You can always have a family, Adopt sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and nieces and any other relations you cherish. You'll know them when you meet them as you commune with them and they will know you.

7. Exercise is good for the body. Not only can it accentuate those curves but it can also relieve stress. Sit-ups do work to reduce the tummy and drop a dress size for you.

8. Commune with Nature and look up into the night sky at the stars. Find your place in the universe in this living growing community of life and beauty. Always find something new that you wish to learn.

9. Always be true to yourself and to others. You are the most attractive to others when you are completely transparent.

10. Laugh and love every time that you can. Laugh with others and love them. Both joy and love are gifts that do not diminish by being shared.

11. Keep Safe! There is safety in numbers. Even if you can't take them along physically, you can keep in touch. Keep your eyes on your purse at all times. Make sure you have your keys out before going to the car. Keys seem to always be at the bottom of a purse which is the worst place for them when you need them.

12. Teach someone something; whether it is a younger sister you can help along the way or another person who can learn something else from you. You will be amazed at how much you can learn yourself by teaching.

13. Look to a power greater than you for the unconditional love you deserve. Remember, if you are a daughter of God, who is King of the Universe, then that makes you a Princess!

14. Keep the awe and child like wonder in your life. A wise woman once said that if you haven't grown up by the time you are 30 then you don't have to grow up.

15. Dispose of all the negative thoughts and actions. They will only hold you back. Watch that list of things that you made before transition that you felt that you would never have after transition shrink one by one as those dreams come true.

16. Choices will be many and use wisdom to make the best choice you can. Remember that not making a choice is in itself a choice. Choosing a pain free life may mean that you will miss out on the best that life has to offer. Remember that as a woman you have an entitlement to ask questions about anything and everything. Make well informed choices.

17. You've joined a new team so wear the uniform proudly. Smile at every woman you meet. Cooperation that we share with all women replaces competition. And remember that the gentleman's axiom "Ladies First" doesn't work anymore because everyone knows now that you are one too. You can take your turn with all the other ladies.

18. Guard your heart! As a woman your emotions will take on intensity beyond anything you've experienced with not only higher highs but lower lows. Carefully consider your actions because it will be easy to overreact. Your tears both of sorrow and of joy are your greatest strength, use them with great pride.

19. You've been given a precious gift (whether you had it or not previously) which is your virginity. You might like to hold onto this precious gift to save for a committed relationship. Most often giving it away has led to heartache and sex can't buy love.

20. Get your colors done before you start buying that new wardrobe to find if spring, winter, summer or fall colors compliment your skin tones and buy only clothing with that color palate that will border your face and arms. In that way you'll be able to wear any blouse that you have bought without worrying that it will make your skin look uncomplimentary.


"Luke: All right, I'll give it a try.
Yoda: No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try. "
[Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog]
"Luke: I don't, I don't believe it.
Yoda: That is why you fail."

[Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back]


I would enjoy seeing any additions you would like to make to the list. Please attach them to the blog via the comments feature. You would be helping someone be happy and that's something good.

If you have a question for "Dear Sasha", please email it to I'll answer emails which don't request privacy in a future blog.

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